Dorothy's Surrender

Another leisurely training day... wore cotton clothes and shoes without special inserts for my workout. I did 3 sets of 1 mile on the treadmill and 5 mile bike while I read more chemistry chapters. I'll probably botch my marathon but at least I'm feeling the love for working out/running again and I'll pass my classes..........This blog has not turned out as I planned, but little in life rarely does for any of us so I'm ok with it. Keep with me for the remainder of this unplanned journey and I'm definitely thinking another endurance plan must come after this. Race is almost here!!

Sans Super... (a.k.a. Human)

So I came to this humbling and freeing revelation yesterday... I am not superwoman. I've worked & ran and gone to the gym; I've worked & ran and gone to school two days a week.... but I've never worked, ran and gone to the gym, and gone to school four days a week. Whew, it's ok if I struggle a little with this new schedule (pint night doesn't even fit in right now). Today I went on the elliptical for over an hour while I read Chemistry chapters.... I feel like that was a good use of my academic & training time. Even if it is unconventional.

Oh... and while in the gym, I meet one of my neighbors (who was working out in the dark when I arrived?) and during our introductory small talk conversation he said at some point I was doing it the right way... working out now instead of waiting till summer when my bathing suit doesn't fit. And proceeded to say a sentence or so later... because people won't tell you when you've gained weight in your bathing suit, but they're talking about you behind your back............... Is this randomness "customary first greeting" gym room conversation??? Or should I point out to the world right now that this proves one thing about training for a marathon... that you might be able to run 16 miles+ (up to 26.2) - without ever achieving the body of a supermodel.

Eating My Words & What They Taste Like

"We make the time for the things we want to.".... yup, that's something I say. And for the most part, something I believe. People who talk and talk and talk about "wanting" to exercise and never do... really don't want to. Lately however, it's hard to look at myself and come to grips or think that the only reason I am not making my week day runs is because... I don't want to? Not exactly. I "want" to... but, I dance like a monkey at work all day and then head to class four days a week (granted, I just started back last week). Two days of which I get out at 7pm and one day of 8pm and another of 10pm. Honestly, do I "want" to run by that point in my day? NO. Do I think it's a good idea to run, by myself, in the dark late at night? NO. Do I want to run 8 miles on a treadmill? NO. Have I been successfully capable of trying to wake up before work and run? NO. Do I have anywhere to shower if I run during lunch? NO. Am I frustrated that running doesn't fall ideally in my schedule? YES. Do I myself prove that since I'm not finding time to run, that I must not want to run?....ehh

"If you're eating low fat chips, you're still eating chips."..... today's mental food diary... Breakfast: 2 pieces of toast with grape jelly and 3 cups of coffee. Lunch: 2 brownies, chocolate ganache cupcake, 2 peanut butter cookies and 1 1/2 bottles of water. Dinner: 20ish dark chocolate m&ms, 6 lean cuisine fajita rolls, 4 little caesars breadsticks and a glass of water. I'm sure that last weeks salads should balance all that right? Don't worry, I keep giving myself sarcastic dirty looks.

In short, no run today. Wouldn't count on tomorrow. Saturday for sure... because I have an organized trail run, also known to others as a race. A movie conversation replayed between my healthy lifestyle brain and my overwhelmed lazy brain...."If I say dippity doo da, you better dippity doo da." "What's dippity doo da?" "I don't know, but if I say it, you better f*%&#@g figure it out.".....lazy brain, it's time to dippity doo da.

Seriously, most of my marathon training comes down to this....fighting past the mental part....

Numbers

During the week I ran 0 miles. Yesterday I turned 31. Today I completed 16 miles (ran 14 1/2 miles, walked probably 1 1/2 miles). Which is a little over 1/2 my age and 1/3 the marathon distance. Now off to NC for a little relaxation.

Bonk

Well my legs are sore, I'm hungry, and I missed my mimosa this morning but I came out to run. Ended up 2.44 miles short. Hit the wall about mile 7 and never recovered. I'm not talking Pink Floyds "The Wall" but the point of utter exhaustian when your body barely can walk forward much less run forward. I forgot what warm temperatures and terrain can do but all and all I feel good :) Till Tuesday...

Mechanical Update

It was 69 degrees on my run today... a little hot for running, but can't complain too much for mid-January! Finally took my run off the hamster wheel and back onto the pavement - what a difference changing scenery can make! Lungs and sinuses still aren't cooperating so I had to walk a little more than preferred and on the one down hill my knee gave me a slight nudge as a reminder that it isn't a fan. I feel pretty happy thus far that my knee has been doing pretty well overall. A few aches and pins and needles now and again but nothing like last time. Still running slow - starting to come to grips with the fact that this is probably not going to be a PR marathon, unless I start embracing some pain and find out what the limit really is.

Starting to think of the rest of the training year... this marathon is in the beginning of March, then I'm thinking maybe do Seattle marathon in end of June, and I'm definitely taking down the Lake Murray Dam Tri in the end of September/beginning of October this year - erase that horrible DNF off my conscience.

Tomorrow ought to be interesting. I made a decision yesterday, and while making it knew it was a bad one.... I decided that I would push back my 6 mile run to today and still do my 14 mile long run on Sunday. We'll see how my body reacts.

Stagnant

Well, it's obvious I didn't run the past week. I will say that my sinuses were really stuffy starting in the middle of the week and I only managed to take large amounts of Sudafed & Benadryll, however I have no excuse for the beginning of the week.

I'm really struggling the past couple days to convince myself to run. I want to, kinda. I need to, truly. And I got really cool compression socks for Christmas that have no reason to be worn right now. I'm afraid because I know I haven't really committed the time to running like I should have the past couple weeks and some how am holding myself in place hoping that will move me forward.... counterintuitive maybe? Suppose to do 4 miles today... looming like a cloud.

On other horizons, I started the South Beach "Phase 1" yesterday. I hate it. I better loose some weight or the Ben & Jerry diet is next... again, counter productive? Either way, don't think this is going to stick for long but need a little bit of a physical jump start, a rekindling with my kitchen, and some healthier food choices. Annual physical is this month and triglycerides don't lie.

Alright, I'm going to go see if I can find a defibrillator (metaphorically speaking) and get back to normal... and put on my running clothes.