Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Eating My Words & What They Taste Like

"We make the time for the things we want to.".... yup, that's something I say. And for the most part, something I believe. People who talk and talk and talk about "wanting" to exercise and never do... really don't want to. Lately however, it's hard to look at myself and come to grips or think that the only reason I am not making my week day runs is because... I don't want to? Not exactly. I "want" to... but, I dance like a monkey at work all day and then head to class four days a week (granted, I just started back last week). Two days of which I get out at 7pm and one day of 8pm and another of 10pm. Honestly, do I "want" to run by that point in my day? NO. Do I think it's a good idea to run, by myself, in the dark late at night? NO. Do I want to run 8 miles on a treadmill? NO. Have I been successfully capable of trying to wake up before work and run? NO. Do I have anywhere to shower if I run during lunch? NO. Am I frustrated that running doesn't fall ideally in my schedule? YES. Do I myself prove that since I'm not finding time to run, that I must not want to run?....ehh

"If you're eating low fat chips, you're still eating chips."..... today's mental food diary... Breakfast: 2 pieces of toast with grape jelly and 3 cups of coffee. Lunch: 2 brownies, chocolate ganache cupcake, 2 peanut butter cookies and 1 1/2 bottles of water. Dinner: 20ish dark chocolate m&ms, 6 lean cuisine fajita rolls, 4 little caesars breadsticks and a glass of water. I'm sure that last weeks salads should balance all that right? Don't worry, I keep giving myself sarcastic dirty looks.

In short, no run today. Wouldn't count on tomorrow. Saturday for sure... because I have an organized trail run, also known to others as a race. A movie conversation replayed between my healthy lifestyle brain and my overwhelmed lazy brain...."If I say dippity doo da, you better dippity doo da." "What's dippity doo da?" "I don't know, but if I say it, you better f*%&#@g figure it out.".....lazy brain, it's time to dippity doo da.

Seriously, most of my marathon training comes down to this....fighting past the mental part....

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